


I Made a Vow

by lita



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Episode: s04e01 The Six Thatchers, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Gen, Grief/Mourning, POV Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock-centric, Stream of Consciousness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-03
Updated: 2017-01-03
Packaged: 2018-09-14 10:20:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9176650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lita/pseuds/lita
Summary: Miracle doesn’t exist, he should know that. Everything he and Mycroft do have always precalculated and preplanned. This is unplanned. It’s his fault. He should have just listened to Mary. John seems to agree as he growls. A companion to "You Made a Vow".





	

**Author's Note:**

> -Unbetaed and not Brit-picked.

Sherlock has always hated “Appointment in Samarra”. He hates when people are not in control of their own destinies. That’s why he wrote that “Appointment in Sumatra” that Mycroft made fun of. Well, he likes to be in control of his own destiny and he likes the idea of being a pirate.

As Norbury shot at him, he thought “Perhaps not.” This is how he will end. Killed by his own arrogance. John would love such an irony. If only he were around…

He doesn’t do human emotion. That was the reason Mary asked him to stop. She knew he would antagonize Norbury. If only he listened to Mary…

As cliché as it sounds, time definitely slows down when someone is dying. As he waited for his eventual death, he was surprised that Mary jumped in front of him to catch his bullet.

Sentiment is indeed unpredictable.

He catches Mary as she falls.

No, no, no. It shouldn’t end like this. Norbury should be in custody after shooting him. Mary will return to John and Rosie and lead their boring, mundane lives. Mycroft will do whatever Mycroft does after telling Mommy that he couldn’t save his little brother from his own big mouth.

He can’t do anything except trying to stop the bleeding.

Then he looks up and sees John. John is here. Everything will be fine. He is a doctor. He will let John perform his miracle.

He can’t lose Mary. She is like him so she doesn’t judge him. He considers her his equal.

Even Mary is saying the same thing to him right now.

“I'm sorry for...for shooting you that time. I'm really sorry.”

No, Mary should save her strength; John should do his doctor duty. He manages to say, “It’s all right.”

“I think we're even now, OK?”

“OK.”

He doesn’t think it’s even. He made a vow to protect Mary and he fails at that. How could it be even? He has forgiven Mary for shooting him so she owes her nothing. He owes her one.

Why can’t John save her?

He feels very strongly what Mycroft calls emotions as Mary says her goodbye to John and dies.

Miracle doesn’t exist, he should know that. Everything he and Mycroft do have always precalculated and preplanned. This is unplanned.

It’s his fault. He should have just listened to Mary. John seems to agree as he growls.

Although he knows it’s his fault, he is still taken aback when John says, “Don't you dare! You made a vow. You swore it.”

The kind John he knows has been replaced by someone so angry and bitter. And it’s his fault. He is only human. Yes, he admits to himself now that he is only human. He can’t predict everything. But such insight is no use for John and Mary. Oh, poor Rosie.

He deserves all the angers John directed at him.

Stella says it’s not healthy to bottle all his emotions up and he is only human. Why he pays someone to tell him something that he already knows is beyond him. A sound that strongly sounds like Mycroft says, “Sentiment.” But having someone who doesn’t judge him is nice.

After the funeral, he will apologize to John for his arrogance that causes Mary’s death. He knows sentiment doesn’t bring back the dead but he needs to do it. To hell with Mycroft and his no sentiment rule.

Although expected, he still feels a punch to the gut when Molly says, “He said he'd... ..that he'd rather have anyone but you.”

It doesn’t matter. He has failed his vow to protect the three of them. He has made a new vow to Mary to save John Watson. He definitely will not fail this one, even if it means he will meet Death again in another town.

**Author's Note:**

> -Writing a coda for an episode is hard especially when it's very angsty. Kudos to people who manage that.  
> -I don't think it's entirely Sherlock's fault because as he said he couldn't predict emotions and what people would do because of them. But again this episode is meant for him to mature emotionally. Not that I like the way the creators did it. Yes, I know Mary in the ACD canon died. They could write her off without killing her.  
> -If you want something happier, read my other fics such as "Mycroft The Wikipedia".  
> -Feedback and comments are welcome.


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